Bad Pizza

If it came down to it, I’d eat pizza everyday for the rest of my life
— Everyone


...then this arrives in the box. KODA started thinking about how often we've been delivered "bad pizza" in our professional lives, in our careers, and on our projects.

Here's how the call to customer service might go:

KODA (K): Hello?

Customer Service (CS): Sorry, I was just on the other line convincing another client how good we are. How can I help?

K: I got bad pizza. All the toppings are on one side.

CS: It's supposed to be on the top side. Have you had pizza before?

K: (sigh) I know how what pizza is supposed to be like. Everything is on the top, but all the toppings are on one half. 

CS: We've spent the last year innovating in this space. We're experienced in operating in similar industries, and have now moved our focus to the pizza business. We got external consultants in to analyse the market, we wrote some code, and made several capital investments.

K: But it's not what I expected, ordered or required. This is not a good pizza.

CS: The software is the first of its kind.

K: Probably a reason for that...

CS: To be honest, it's actually harder to put all the toppings on one side. 
Of course, you have the option to move the toppings how you like, but that's up to you.
Or we can do it for you. But that costs extra. Should I put you through to our after-market consulting area?

K: I don't know what to say.

CS: My KPIs say that you must be happy with this interaction. Can I try to help you look at it another way? Yes?

K: You can try.

CS: Is your pizza circular? 

K: Yes. Here we go...

CS: Does it have cheese? 

K: Yes.

CS: And there are at least 10 slices of pepperoni? 

K: 11.

CS: Your pepperoni density is through the roof with that 11th slice.
What aren't I seeing?

KODA: Another dollar from me...